Before This, I Used To...

Assalamualaikum!!! Setelah lama x menulis entry (such a liar!!!) sejak entry lalu dipost aroundpukul 1400pm tadi. Ahaks~terasa begitu lama bagi manusia yg tiada kerja nak buat. (really wants to make all of you jealous) Thihihi.. ok, aku sengal.

This entry was 100% about myself. Tak kisah la orang nk judge personaliti aku mcm mane pun. Something in your mind, do drop your comments k! ^^

Red. The color of Passion. Courages. Blood. Anger. Sacrifice. Fire. Love. Before this, I used to love red so much. The color that catches the eyesight first. Everything about me, is full of red. The Red-Obsession of mine. My obsession to red, exceeds everything. I really, really loves red.

Just like Madam Red, Ciel's Aunt in Kuroshitsuji, also known as Aunt Anne. She really loves red. Her natural hair color. The passionate Crimson red.

How the red color catches my eyes, also my heart deeply fall in love to a person. When i was still a child, i don't know how to describe the 'love' to that person. But, somehow, when i'm in the middle of teen ages, i finally found the real meaning of love to the person. My feelings of love to the person, same to my love to the color of red. I finally can describe my feelings by the color. The Passionate color. The Red Obsession.

Until that time, when my heart finally broke. When that person would never been loved by me anymore. When that person already have his own love. When i really can't look at that person's eyes anymore. When i've only can look at that person from behind. When i know it's already too late. Until i realized how love at the first sight really hurts.

How love at the first sight to that person begins to disappear, my obsession to the red color also fades. How easy i am. Easily to fall, easily to being hurt. But, no one knows how i tend to endure the pain. How i begins to have my own strength again. How i rebuilt my own personality.

I am now, is really different from i am before. 90% of my personality has changed. I sometimes didn't recognize my own self. At that time, i also did not love the color red anymore. But i still used it, to remind the memories. Now, i am engulfed by the darkness of the black. I am now, really, really loves black. The Black Temptation. Darkness. Fears. Silence. Mystery. Secret. Now, i really loves black. Like a best friend of mine, Heiji-san. We do love black so much. Until now, until now.

This is the real story. Written by the Black and Red lover. The MindReader. Yes, I am.

_Rottkappchen stands for The Little Red Riding Hood_